Please don't call police about 'drunk' birds, department says

Ben Davidson
October 5, 2018

"The Gilbert Police Department has received several reports of birds that appear to be 'under the influence, ' flying into windows, cars, and acting confused".

The intoxicated state of the birds is due to berries fermenting ahead of time due to an earlier than usual frost. In recent days, they have been flying perilously close to windows and cars, and generally seem to be discombobulated.

"Drunk birds are totally a thing".

Gilbert Police Department in Minnesota has urged residents to be careful after numerous locals had close encounters with the tipsy animals. Or, more specifically, berries that froze, causing the starch they contain to convert to sugar, which in turn fermented when the berries thawed.

He said robins, cedar waxwings and thrushes are the bird species most likely to tie one on since they eat more berries than other species.

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Techar notes that younger birds' livers can't handle the toxins as well as more mature birds. "They have actually fallen out of trees on occasion".

As for the drunkards in Gilbert, police said there's no need to call authorities about the birds "as they should sober up within a short period of time".

The reason: The birds have apparently found themselves with an unexpected excess of booze.

The police force is asking, however, that residents watch out for "any other birds after midnight with Taco Bell items", or "Angry Birds laughing and giggling uncontrollably and appearing to be happy".

Police in northern Minnesota are asking the public to please stop calling them about the influx of "drunk" birds flying around. The officials also expect the birds to sober up soon enough.

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